Original plan, “I’m going to get my References together and apply for better-paying jobs at St Peter’s Hospital.” What actually happened, “Huh, I’ve never actually listened to Milli Vanilli before.”
Thanksgiving this year was so much fun!
i wish this was a real font
My perfect date night? I pick you up in my Kia Sorento. You get in. There’s...– Aziz Ansari (via acidtooth )
i would love to go to a film school for free
My landlady’s husband’s crazy friend comes over at literally 6:58am. wut She lives below me and I can hear the doorbell going off.
my village has contaminated water and i’m emaciated and starving. sigh, first world problems guys.
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will spend the rest of its life thinking it’s an idiot.” -Albert Einstein
My old life dream was to be a waitress in the middle of nowhere like in Touched by an Angel. My new life dream is to be a taxi driver.
vvhack: im dropping out of school and becoming an assassin because it has the word ass in it twice and i have nothing better to do with my life
actually i think i got fatter in general because my pencil skirt from highschool is looking good on me/is tight and when i walk my legs touch. i feel that this statement should be post scripted by the theme from Psycho.
eating nothing but indian food for the last two weeks made my boobs bigger. WEIRD
i just had a dream that my friend od’ed on xanax and died. and a young joseph gordon levett was in my dream and he was using tiny flea people to make a fortune on ice pops or something and he fell in love with one of the flea peple. and there’s this one corporation that only schizophrenics know about or something that turns out is/was connected to my friend’s overdose/the flea...
i know that nobody cares but before she had a sex tape and a failed 72 day marriage, kim kardashian was married for *4 years* to music producer damon thomas.
i don’t believe in fiction anymore, everything comes from somewhere.
cosmothefairy: give me ur address and i’ll rate the way u sleep and the way you bathe
a colt 45 christmas
i just discovered a colt 45 christmas and i’ve been listening to it all night, it’s too delightfully bizarre to turn off.